…Grumpy Old Men

Get off my lawn!

August 21, 2018

get-off-my-lawnThis sentiment is most associated with a crotchety old man who, in a moment of exasperation, yells at the kids in his neighborhood.

And who can blame him, really? Those pesky kids can be as irritating and destructive as any unwanted vermin, especially when they decide his yard is the best place for a game of football.

In defense of the old guy, however, it’s not like his life is easy. No doubt he has a sore back, a nagging wife, and requires a daily afternoon nap (or two). Welcome to the world of senior citizens.

But rest assured, older Americans, today is your lucky day. Although we have no idea what inspired the day, it was proclaimed as such by President Ronald Regan that the event be celebrated on August 21st each year.

The Infallible Wikipedia is silent in regards to this important holiday. But on the National Day Calendar the following is shared:

“This day was created as a day to support, honor and show appreciation to our seniors and to recognize their achievements. Their valuable contributions to our communities create better places to live.

Take time today to spend with seniors you know, and listen to their stories of wisdom and experience, gain from their hard-earned knowledge.

‘For all they have achieved throughout life and for all they continue to accomplish, we owe older citizens our thanks and a heartfelt salute. We can best demonstrate our gratitude and esteem by making sure that our communities are good places in which to mature and grow older — places in which older people can participate to the fullest and can find the encouragement, acceptance, assistance, and services they need to continue to lead lives of independence and dignity.’

~ President Ronald Reagan – August 19, 1988 Proclamation 5847”

Getting older is an interesting process. And then that day arrives when you are offered your first senior discount! What an event! There you are, your $200 stack of Nordstrom’s finest piled on the checkout counter and the salesperson smiles at you then confidentially asks if you qualify for a senior discount. Of course, she intones, she really can’t tell but wants to save you thirty dollars… so you cave and admit you are eligible.

That is, of course, the way it happens the first time, right?

Well, not exactly. Here’s the real story.

I’ve just picked up a couple loaves of bread and a package of English Muffins at the Franz Bakery outlet. My purchase comes to three bucks and change. I’m counting out the bills and riffling through my coins looking for the exact amount when it happens.

“Are you old enough for a senior discount?”

Mortification overwhelms me. Do I look like I’m a senior? Oh. My. Gawd. I calculate what the ‘discount’ would be and realize it’s 30 cents. Thirty freaking cents.

franz kirkland

I look up at the clerk, smile and say, “Sorry, no.” Then grab the bread and scurry out the door. It wasn’t quite how I imagined my first time would be.

Since then (It was just last week, wink wink!) I’ve learned to embrace the whole Senior thing and enjoy the inevitable ‘No! You don’t look 60 comments’ I get. Of course I also embrace the philosophy of ‘Youth through chemicals’ and have discovered ways to mask the more obnoxious signs of aging. Clairol is your friend!

2017-Senior-Pass-Annual-Front-1_1.jpgA few days ago, my hubby informed me that the next time we visit a National Park he will be eligible to purchase the “America The Beautiful” pass – a one time purchase admitting him to the NP’s for the rest of his life. Now that’s a Senior Discount worth admitting your age.

So, those of you over a certain age, go out and celebrate National Senior Citizen’s day and be sure to ask for your damn discount.



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